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Terms of service

Welcome to the Legal Stuff

Look, we know legal documents are about as exciting as watching paint dry. But hey, these terms help keep things running smoothly. So grab a cup of whatever keeps you awake, and let’s dive in.

1. Overview (a.k.a. The Basics)

This website is run by Simplimins (that’s us). Throughout the site, the terms “we,” “us,” and “our” refer to Simplimins. By visiting our site or buying something, you’re officially engaging in our “Service” and agreeing to these Terms of Use (a.k.a. “The Rules”). If you don’t like rules, well... you might not like contracts either, but here we are.

By using this site, you confirm that:

  • You’re at least the age of majority in your state or province.

  • You won’t use our products for anything illegal or shady.

  • You won’t try to hack, break, or otherwise mess with our site.

  • If you break the rules, we can terminate your access faster than you can say “unregulated wellness trends.”

2. Updates & Changes (Yes, We Can Do That)

We may update these terms whenever we feel like it (or when the law tells us to). It’s on you to check this page periodically. If you keep using the site after we update the terms, that means you accept the changes.

3. Payments, Prices & The Fun of Fine Print

  • Prices may change without notice. Because capitalism.

  • We can refuse service, cancel orders, or limit quantities if we suspect fraud, abuse, or someone trying to buy out our entire stock for resale.

  • If we need to contact you about an order, we’ll use the email or phone number you provided—so, make sure it’s legit.

4. Shipping (Because We Like to Get Stuff to You)

  • We ship to all 50 U.S. states, including Alaska and Hawaii. No international shipping yet—but we’re working on it.

  • Shipping times and rates are determined by Amazon Multi-Channel Fulfillment (MCF). See our [Shipping Policy](INSERT LINK) for the full details.

  • Once an order leaves our warehouse, we can’t control what happens, but we’ll do our best to assist with lost or stolen packages.

5. Returns & Refunds (No Half-Empty Bottles, Please)

  • You have 30 days to return unopened, unused products.

  • Opened products? Sorry, we can’t take them back (because, ew).

  • Refunds are issued to your original payment method within 5-7 business days after we receive and inspect the return.

  • See our [Refund Policy](INSERT LINK) for all the juicy details.

6. Third-Party Stuff (a.k.a. We’re Not Responsible for That)

  • We may link to third-party tools or services. We don’t own or control them, so use them at your own risk.

  • If you click a sketchy link and end up somewhere weird, that’s on you.

7. User-Submitted Content (Keep It Legal, Folks)

  • If you send us ideas, suggestions, or funny memes, we can use them however we want—without paying you.

  • Don’t post anything illegal, offensive, or outright dumb. We can remove content that violates these terms.

8. Prohibited Uses (Stuff You Absolutely Can’t Do)

  • Break any laws.

  • Harass, defame, or troll others.

  • Upload viruses, malware, or anything designed to mess things up.

  • Scrape, spam, or try to hack our site.

  • Pretend you’re someone you’re not.

If you do any of this, we reserve the right to kick you off the site and take legal action if necessary.

9. Disclaimer, Limitation of Liability & Force Majeure (a.k.a. Don’t Blame Us for Everything)

  • We don’t guarantee that our site will always be up, error-free, or run perfectly on your 2008-era laptop.

  • We’re not responsible for any direct, indirect, or ridiculous damages you may incur from using our site.

  • In jurisdictions that don’t allow liability exclusions, our liability is limited to the maximum extent permitted by law.

  • Force Majeure: Simplimins shall not be liable for failure to perform due to events beyond our reasonable control, including but not limited to natural disasters, government actions, supply chain breakdowns, or internet failures.

  • We don’t guarantee that our site will always be up, error-free, or run perfectly on your 2008-era laptop.

  • We’re not responsible for any direct, indirect, or ridiculous damages you may incur from using our site.

  • In jurisdictions that don’t allow liability exclusions, our liability is limited to the maximum extent permitted by law.

10. Governing Law & Dispute Resolution (Because We Have to Include This)

These Terms of Use are governed by the laws of New York, USA. If legal action is necessary, it will take place in New York courts.

By using this site, you agree that any disputes related to these Terms will be resolved through binding arbitration in New York, rather than in court. Arbitration shall be conducted under the rules of the American Arbitration Association (AAA).
 These Terms of Use are governed by the laws of New York, USA. If legal action is necessary, it will take place in New York courts.

11. Changes to These Terms

We might update this page from time to time. Keep checking back because your continued use of the site means you accept the new terms.

12. Privacy & Contact Us

Your use of this site is also subject to our Privacy Policy, which explains how we collect, use, and protect your data.

If you have any burning questions, hit us up at support@simplimins.com. Just don’t ask us for legal advice—we’re not lawyers.

 

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